Gaelic

As someone whose Gaelic knowledge stops after ‘Cheers!’, ‘Shut that door!’ and ‘Put your finger on your nose’, today ought to be interesting. I’m off to compile a pitch document for the proposed new Gaelic soap opera. Apparently many, many Earth pounds are being invested in the Gaelic channel and one of their goals is to start producing the next ‘Corrie’. After the dismal failure of the first one, ‘Machair’, confidence, and expectations, are low. Surely ripe pickings for my team of keen young things? Anna’s coming up from Dundee, David’s coming in from Argyll and Amanda, in the chair, will be hammering her flip chart - sadly not a euphemism. I expect to see Roses Lime Cordial and Fox’s Glacier fruits on the Highlands & Islands Enterprise table, at the very least. It’s hard not to think of Gaelic storylines without lapsing into cliche. Shall we have an old minister who’s dead set against change? But then, turning cliche on its head - the obvious alternative, and putting out a young hip (female?) minister is, in many ways, even more dull. Maybe we should take it a step further. Okay guys, listen up. It’s November. It’s cold. Even the minister has left town…